CLAUDINE AGUON

Ive been on this page thinking what to write, then I end up deleting it again. I usually just talk and talk and typeee whatever that comes in my head, (like now) But I got nothing except about you, about you i can not write about. And since I know you dont know about this blog anyway, maybe ill say the words i told you but this time, soberly.

hi friend,
I seriously hope I can take back all the things I said last night. I've never really said anything like that to anyone since my last. But I did, to you who I've only known for like what, 2 months. I cant even remember if we were ever friends, I just know we flirt a lot. And I knew it was not something to be taken seriously cause come on, you're taken, I knew it and I didnt care cause I didnt plan on liking you. I just like having you around. And we both know that. Not until that tuesday night we were both alone at cable, not literally alone, but like you weren't with you friends and my friends wasn't there either. We hung out sober for the first time and played our first beer pong game together. I guess that was the first time that I was open to the idea of may be I'm liking you already. We got closer, or I like to think we are, we got more open and say the words i miss you and ":*". And then we made our 3 month bet which made it a lot more confusing to me if you're actually serious or just the usual drunk bets. I remember this one time you got drunk at Eastwood, and you were saying these stuffs I cant say here. yesss I still clearly remember everything there is about you. And it sucks cause I cant do anything about it. My friend asked you, if you were to pick between me and your girlfriend, you didn't answer. You didn't answer not because you're confused, you didn't answer cause you didn't want me to hear you pick your girlfriend. That was enough for me cause then it just shows at some point, you care about how I feel when I hear you say that.

About my texts last night, I should have just said "April Fools!" to save me my pride when you asked this morning if i was serious. I cant say anything else to you but I'm sorry I was out of line, and there you are saying its not. Can't you just help me out here? Push me away if you can.