I have never been this MIA ever, A lot has been going on with me lately and all I can think about is what to do next. I've never been disappointed with myself even after I had too much fun. For one night, I realized a lot of things; that I'm gonna be 19 soon and I cant stay like this forever. I never said sorry, I'm too shy to admit my mistake. I never answered back either, but I think that's even better cause in a way I get to say what I feel. I don't know how/why but there was one person who made me say sorry just by saying, "blah blah mag sorry ka nga..." its weird, cause even my best friends couldn't get me to say it. I don't know, there are just those people who can push you with the simplest words. I wanna say sorry of course, I'm just not good at it.

I thought these was normal, whatever am going through/doing is part of a teenage life. And that a lot of other kids are in the same situation as I am. But then I thought that I don't have to compare or find someone who's in the same situation as I am to feel better.

A few days ago an old family friend came over and talked me to me. Honestly, I was furious. Usual thoughts; what position are you in to tell me that? But then she kept going on and on about her kid idolizing me. That her daughter goes like "Ma this looks like what ate clau is wearing oh" and she even wants to take the same course as I did which was fashion design cause she wanted to be like me.. I felt bad that I didn't know there was someone out there who was looking up to me and she doesn't know how much of a mess I am right now.